When we left off my relationship with Rekoh had been all but over, and I had just found out I was pregnant thanks to his nosy mother.
After the reality of being pregnant for the first time set it, I did what most women do. I went to the doctor and had them verify that I was indeed pregnant.
After doing all the things a woman who just found out she’s pregnant does. I finally sat down and let everything sink in.
I’m pregnant, how exctiting! I’m going to be a mother….FUCK! I’m going to be a mother! How is this going to work? Him and I practically hate eachother! Are we really going to raise a child together? There’s always abortion… no no abortion. The child didn’t do anything I can’t just kill it. I will not have an abortion.
After many sessions of similar thoughts with myself in finally sat down with Rekoh. I told him that I will NOT have an abortion, it’s out of the question. That being said, I know things between us are bad. So if you want I’m prepared to take my stuff and leave. I’ll raise the child on my own, I won’t put your name on the birth certificate and I’ll never ask for child support. That being said, I also would never stop you from visiting, it is your child after all. But you don’t have to be a part of this.
I gave him the best out I could think of. I figured if things were bad, then this would just make any remaining relationship worse.
He didn’t take it. He said it was his child and he was gonna man up to it and be the one to take care of it. So we stayed together. At the time I didn’t know how things were going to play out. Part of me wished he would have took the opportunity to not be part of it, but soon all my thoughts on the subject got pushed aside.
Within a week from the day his mother had me take that first home pregnancy, I was the lucky recipient of the most common symptom of pregnancy… morning sickness.
Now I know, some of you may have had your own experiences with this lovely side effect. “Oh its not THAT bad” Well for me, it was. It was THAT bad, and so much worse.
Every morning the first thing I would do is run to the bathroom and vomit. But it wasn’t just the morning, as soon as someone started cooking something…. vomit. The food, any food, smelled SO bad. I can’t even begin to describe how bad my aversion to the smell of cooking food was.
With that being said, after the first week, I had requested to be informed before anyone would cook. So for the duration of the preparation of the meal, and the first hour or so of after everything had been put away I’d be outside waiting for the smell to dissipate. Once the smell was gone, I’d return and attempt to eat my dinner. Most of the time I could only take a few bites before I was vomiting again. This persisted for my entire pregnancy.
About half way through the pregnancy, an apartment on the property (which had been about 4 or 5 acres) opened up, and being a pregnant couple we jumped on the opportunity. Shortly after moving into our little apartment, I became the recipient of yet another gift of pregnancy. Lethargy. For here to the end of my pregnancy all I remember is sleeping and puking.
When I wasn’t puking I was asleep. And it wasn’t your normal tired, I’d sleep for a good 14 hrs wake up for 2 or 3 then need to go back to sleep.
Between never being able to eat and being too tired to try, I don’t know how my baby got all the nutrients it needed.
And this is how the rest of my pregnancy proceeded, eat, sleep, puke, sleep, sleep, puke, sleep repeat.
On July 19, 2012 around 8 am. With 3 little pushes my son was born weighing 7lbs 4oz.