So we left off just when I met a nice gentleman online…
We spent a lot of time doing things together online. Playing games, talking on skype. Eventually we decided we wanted to meet each other in person. So he drove from one state over to come pick me up. We went back to his house, I was supposed to spend 2 months “vacationing” with him. When the 2 months were over, I was supposed to return home and we’d resume our normal lives. But as fate would have it, when the two months were over he didn’t want me to leave, and I very much wanted to stay. So after talking about it, we decided that we would return to my place just to get my stuff and I would move in with him.
We were together for about 2.5 years. For the most part we had a great relationship. But he was the kind of person that people treat like a door mat. After time I tried to change that part of him, I wanted him to start standing up for himself. Somewhere I the process of trying to ‘help’ him, I started walking all over him just like everyone else.
This is when things started going haywire. I cheated on him in my attempts to get him to do something. But when that didn’t work I ended up sending nude photos of myself to his best friend. (Yes, I know I was a horrible person)
Just like I had expected his friend told him about the pictures, we had a conversation about it in which he ended up taking the blaim for what had happened.
Things continued, eventually we ended up moving in with his friend. At which point I was blowing him while my boyfriend was in the other room and giving him hand jobs under the blanket while we were all sitting together.
I don’t know why he never said anything, that’s all I had wanted. And I know he noticed, I made it obvious enough.
I was disappointed with his inability to stand up for himself, the things happening to him were bad enough for it. And then it struck me, the things that I was doing to him were aweful. And he just took it. He must love me so much (either that or he’s just a moron) But i choose to believe the former.
I loved him too. I had just been trying to help him stand up for himself. But when I compiled all the things I had done in my desire to help him had caused hime much more pain then the people I was trying to get him to stand up to.
If I really loved this man then I needed to leave him. My presence was only causing pain. I was going to cause him pain one more time in my desire to help. I went to him, I told him we were over. I told him he was weak and that I needed a real man in my life. That me and his friend (who just sorta accepted our new ‘relationship’) wereally going to leave at the end of the week. At the end of the week we packed our belonging and left.
I remember looking in the mirror and seeing him cry as we left the driveway. This was the last time I’d break his heart. With tears in my eyes, I watched that part or my life come to a crashing end. The road and the next story lay ahead….
I still hold a lot of sorrow for the things that I did to this man. But i made the right choice in the end. He found a new love, and he has a baby boy now. That was the last thing I heard of him.
Until next time.